How did we get here?
Back in December 2004, Richard, Aimee, Uncle Steve and I traveled to China to complete the adoption of our youngest daughter Cadence. Richard and I had agreed that Aimee needed a sibling and we thought that a second daughter would make our family perfect. I had wanted to adopt since I was a child and so adoption seemed the perfect way to grow our family. On December 19th, 2004, we met Cadence for the first time. She was everything we had dreamed of and more. How the CCAA match you with a child is unknown and the stuff of legend, but somehow they do it perfectly. Cadence is such an integral part of our family and has been since the moment that we first held her. She could not be more like us if she had been born to us. It is scary how like Richard she is in personality and looks.
Fast forward to Fall of 2005. During a reunion of our travel group held in Oxford, Mississippi, Aimee and Cadence were able to meet some of the big brothers that had not traveled to China with us. Everyone had such a great time and on returning home, Aimee got it into her mind that she too wanted a brother. She started to drop hints here and there, but her Mum played deaf and pretended not to hear. Apparently Aimee was not going to be so easily swayed and when I went to collect her from school one day, her teacher came over to congratulate me on our new son! What new son? “The one you are adopting from China, Aimee told us all about him…”
During this time a few of my friends that had been DTC with us also adopted SN boys, they were adorable and I could feel the red thread’s beginning to tug. Sometimes, you might as well accept your fate, because you cannot avoid it forever. Richard was quite sure that two daughters were enough and that he was not ready for a third child. I respected his decision, but playfully told him he was wrong. Finally, during a trip to Disney in early December, our agency received their new waiting child listing. It wouldn’t hurt to take a peek… There were over 40 children on the list with varying special needs, some severe and some minor. I opened each and every file and looked into the eyes of these precious children. They were so beautiful and deserved the love of a family. As I opened the 38th file a little boy by the name of Hai, my heart skipped a beat and I held my breath. Just like the first time I saw Cadence’s referral photo – I knew this child. The little boy with the big brown eyes staring back at me was my son, our son! I read all about him and the more I read, the more I knew he was meant to be in our family. It is so hard to explain, but something deep down inside of you just knows.
I showed his photo to Richard, who smiled sweetly and said he was very cute. He wasn’t sure like me, but there was a spark of something. Unfortunately, the WC process meant that these children were to be considered first by families who had already submitted an application. We had not applied and the committee meeting to decide the fate of these children was the following day. I remember telling Richard, you may not know it, but that is our son. On the Friday, I was happy and heartbroken; the little guy that was our son was matched with a pre-approved family. He now had the family he deserved, but it wasn’t us. My heart sank for us, but was truly happy for him. I told Richard that he was our son and somehow, some way he would find his way to us. It wasn’t over. He was a Choi.
Even after he was matched I continued to look at his photo every day, multiple times a day. Then about a week later (just before Christmas), I saw that he was no longer showing as being matched. I contacted the agency and they said that the family that had requested him could not complete the adoption, so yes, he was looking for a family again. I KNEW IT, I knew it. This was the sign. I immediately told Richard who looked scared. He knows that when I set my mind on something, I will not let go. We began to talk in earnest about the little guy. It took quite a bit of research and soul-searching, but finally Richard said yes. We could send in an application. That was Christmas Eve. The agency was closed for the holidays and did not reopen until January 3rd. It was the longest 10 days of my life; I was sure someone else would see him and want him too. Finally on the afternoon of January 3rd, we got the call – Hai was our son. Of course he was! I knew it the first time I saw him, but I was so thankful that Richard and our agency saw it too.
We showed the photo of Hai to Aimee and she was overjoyed, yes she knew he was her brother. He was perfect, a little brother who was not a baby like Cadence. Someone who could help her take care of her little sister. Once we had received approval from Aimee we started the paper chase. As always there were bumps in the road, not to mention a pothole or two, but on May 5th, 2006 we got the email we had been waiting for – our dossier was on its way to China. The clock had started ticking, it is only a matter of time until Hai (or Hansen as he is now known) joins our family forever. This journal is our way of sharing the rest of the journey with the people we love as well as those we have yet to meet.
Please join us, as we become a family of 5. Now I know you should never say never, but I have told Richard that 3 kids really is enough this time… We shall see if I am right.
